Writing a Memoir

by Caroline Gaden ©

You ALL have memories and you can all write those memories down… you just need to get organised and DO IT. Even if you find writing physically difficult don’t use that as an excuse, use a tape recorder and get someone else to do the transcription.
You do not need to have a university degree, you do not need to have studied English literature, all you need to be able to do is find the time and the commitment to do it.

A memoir is not an autobiography, nor is it a family history but it may include elements of both….
• it can select a shorter time frame,
• it doesn’t have to be in chronological order,
• it doesn’t have to be so fiercely accurate… incidents can be merged to help the story telling
• it is your memory and your perspective and so may differ from the memory of your brother/sister/spouse/parent … no one is ‘more right’ or ‘more wrong’. You can write that you saw an incident one way but your sibling had a different perspective, putting all perspectives in will enrich the story.

Write daily…. Just 10 minutes per day to get the flow going - like a jogger who does a bit every day; they don’t expect to run 20 km from day one, without any training.

We can all tell stories
Is my story worthwhile? We talk ourselves down
Where do we start? We all find excuses to avoid writing
You do need time to daydream and drift, to let things settle and allow ideas bubble up… that’s the way the brain and long term memory works.
It may be useful to attend workshops or discuss your writing with other writers.

Write about what you’re burning to write about first.
May be useful to map out your story, the bits you think are important. Major turning points in life will be major turning points in the story eg migration or marriage or birth or death of major character.
• may help to construct a ‘mind map’ or to ‘draw your life’
• may help to draw a time line for your life … world events may trigger memories.
• may help to write your own flyer listing your achievements i.e. blow your own trumpet!
• meditation may help the memory to surface and relive the senses you felt at the time.

What chapters could you uses to write your life story?
• Chronological chapters eg Birth, Childhood, Schooldays, Work, Marriage
• Person chapters eg My parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, husband, children, friends, work colleagues
• Place chapters eg houses, villages, towns, cities, countries where I have lived
• Events chapters eg Christmas, summer holidays, birthdays
• Theme chapters
     Family I have loved
     Friends I have endured
     Places I have lived
     Schools I have hated
     Dogs I have adored
     Horses I have worshipped

Look at your list of chapter heading, put them on a list in a hat, draw one out, write about that for your 10 minutes, when all are done you can then look at the best order and linkages.
You may use diaries and letters for inspiration and support if you are lucky enough to have them.
Have a notebook and pen always handy for the things you are writing about, to jot down that sudden memory that arrives unbidden.

Have another notebook for the things you can’t write about… keep under lock and key, it’s for your eyes only, may be painful, may hurt others, not for publication but may help ‘unblock a blockage’.
Must be compassionate towards yourself and you need support.

You need to transport the reader into another world
• Use your senses to visualise the place or atmosphere ie a description
Imagery can help ...begin with image of eg a beach- you are walking along it. What are you feeling? Touching? Smelling? Tasting? Hearing? Seeing? Allow your senses to help with descriptions. [Imagine you are blind, helps bring out other senses eg sound, touch]
• You may use a photograph to trigger a memory. Describe the people in photograph, their dress, who they are, their personality, where and when and why.
• Use a piece of jewellery, an ornament, a medal, a letter or a diary entry to trigger a story
• To evoke an era use brand names [eg I was hoovering the floor] or refer to brands of food of the time, or things no longer with us [eg Zam Buk for cuts], or TV/Radio programs of the time eg Zoo Quest for BBC TV in the 1950s.
• May eventually need to research to ensure you have the detail correct eg the specific date of Queen’s coronation, the exact year the FJ Holden was released, but do this later, don’t stop the flow of writing.
• I kept six honest serving men, they taught me all I knew
Their names are What and Why and When and Where and How and Who [Kipling]

Writers voice
It is a confident voice, your ‘alter ego’ who is writing.
Step into the character or the narrator, reader needs to emphasise with that person
• May adopt the voice of a parent, a teacher, an environmentalist, an ‘expert’.
• May adopt the voice of child especially if writing of the times when you were a child [eg ‘Good morning Mrs Hardcastle’.]
• May need to put yourself in another persons shoes - to provide understanding of both characters and situations
• May need to detach yourself if you have painful memories to write about… ‘The little girl did XY’ rather than ‘I did XY’
• Your style may be chatty, entertaining, informative, detached, create shock, or ‘in your face’.
• It may be as a family member eg Great Aunt Lucy, so anyone who knew her would immediately recognise the phrases used and be able to hear the tone of voice.
Humour and exaggeration are both useful tools

Use description to ‘show, not tell’ ie show the reader your mother ‘thumping the oak dining table before bursting into tears’ rather than just telling them your mother often cried out in frustration.
Have a go at writing as a child, as a teenager, as a young adult. Play around with tenses
Whose voice are you using? Be a story teller!

Moving through a story
1. Summary
Aerial shot, not a lot of detail but covers a bit area or big time frame. Covers a lot of time but all seen from a distance, none is more important than another eg can do a 10 year period in which you don’t want to cover much detail
2. Scene… shorter time span, a close up, a specific time location, can give conversation, expressions. Dialogue is a great way of getting information across in a short time as there’s no long page of description and you can get to the grist of the story.
3. Musing … a commentary, looking back, compare then and now, bridge eras/time, may use a different type face, can summarise a long time in a paragraph and make a final comment eg It’s taken me 30 years to understand….

Your audience
What I really want to say is that these are my memories written especially for …eg family so they understand why I am so eccentric; wider audience people with an interest in a particular time, place

Potential Subjects-
Christmas. Summer at Grandma’s house. The mulberry bush. Holidays. My 10th birthday
World events eg the day man landed on the moon. The neighbour from hell.
Work, sport, hobby, games we played School. Friends. Family. My first motor bike.
Intense moments of pain. Intense moments of joy. Intense moments of fear.
The year my father died. The year my parents separated. My favourite pet.
The day I broke my leg. When I fell off the ….. Why I love…….
My black eye …. The day I was caught in a rip. My first day at Yoga.

GOALS
Write your goals down!
Bite the bullet and set the timetable
Be obsessed and write 10 minutes every day
What would you like to write in the next month, six months, twelve months?

Further reading
Remember when - How to unlock your life story John Hockney
Writing the Memoir Judith Barrington
The pocket muse, ideas and inspiration for writing Monica Wood
Growing up between 1900 and 1920 Grace Horseman
Growing up in the Thirties Jane Madders & Grace Horseman
Growing up in the Forties Grace Horseman
Writing a non-boring family history Hazel Edwards
Some Memoirs to Read
The Bean Patch Shirley Painter, written as if the child was not her
Sea Rhymes with Me Pamela Mathers, adventures in her 70s
Airmail Kate Fitzpatrick, lots of letters over the years
Misadventures Sylvia Smith, one chapter per person
The colour of water James McBride, written with and about his mother
The horses too are gone Michael Keenan, a particular period of adversity-drought
Almost French Sarah Turnbull, adapting to a new country/culture
The pianist Wladyslaw Szpilman, non-judgemental - surviving WWII
Mao’s last dancer Li Cunxin, childhood in a Communist culture
A Celtic Childhood Bill Watkins, laugh out loud funny stories of childhood
There’s a bear in there [and he wants a Swedish].. how my career went from Play School presenter to brothel receptionist Merriday Eastman, lots of dialogue if you can get past the bad language.
Any memoir you can find as it will give you some ideas as to what will work best for you.